i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
