So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
