Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize