I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
