i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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