Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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