Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
