I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
