i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
