so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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