If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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