Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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