you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
