hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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