But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
