dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize