The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
