so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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