no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
