I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize