Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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