No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
