Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
