super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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