walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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