i think my tv is drunk
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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