I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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