you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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