ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
