Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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