Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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