I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
