Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize