you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
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He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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