So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
