first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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