We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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