Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
