Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.