im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?