well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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