Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
