Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
