its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
