Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
