If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you win again, gameday.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
