covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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