i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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