Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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