id be glad to
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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