proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
