The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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