i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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