Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
