we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
