well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
