porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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