i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
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I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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