Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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