She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
