I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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